Me for all of high school
do i have cramps or has my appendix exploded
does my boob hurt or am i having a heart attack
am i on my period or do i have internal bleeding
these are our struggles
Thinking of dirty thoughts and getting an erection in awkward situations
The struggles of a man
thinking of my naked grandma isnt going to suck the blood back into my vagina
you need an award right now
crying is the biggest bullshit ever its like “oh you’re feeling sad and vulnerable, lets make liquid come flying out of your face and make it really loud too so everyone around you will sense your weakness” who the fuck authorized this. its terrible planning, id like to file a complaint
imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”GO CHOP SOME LUMBER
"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"
"Don’t you have something to fix somewhere."
Sometimes it’s gray and it swims
Holy mother of YES, THAT.
sexuality is a dolphin
Dolphins are some of the only animals other than humans to have homosexual relations
Sexuality is a dolphin
SELFIE GAME TOO STRONG
THE BEST THE BEST.
I love that we live in a world when the president and vice president can take a selfie together and I mean that sincerely
the great thing about coffee: it cures exhaustion at 11 pm and enables you to write a bomb ass paper
The bad thing about coffee: it’s now 3 am and the only thing I want to do is cha cha real smooth
i cant believe caffeine was the only drug i was on when i wrote this